Diary Disclaimer: The authors of this document have taken severe artistic liberty with their spellings.

Many people have been asking if our entries are the truth. Upon my duran duran record collection, yes. We live the life of Riley---we also embrace it and go full-boar all the time. Hold on to your curly tails and tusks, kids.

Painting Daisies are:
Daisy G
Rachelle V
Carolyn F
Kimmy G

December 25, 2003 Regina, SK

Christmas Day. Shall I pull out some philosophy for our loyal readers, or just let flow the joy that I am letting into my life? There is a concern of getting too personal in these diary entries -- it is true that once fame is achieved, information that you give, or snippets of yourself, may come back to you as ammunition from someone who is desperately searching (as so many are) and unfortunately looking within commercial society for the answers. We are given up these images of stardom to worship as once humans were given images of gods...

Here I am letting flow something quite unlike the joy I seek (and seek, rightfully I believe, from myself and from my family). Such is the way I write.

"Are you writing about me?" my niece asks as she flops down in a chair beside me, "Shall I?" I reply...

December 23, 2003 Regina, SK

So it's been a while... more computer troubles, even less time than usual and now I'm here for Christmas, typing a diary entry on my little laptop and getting ready to conquor phase I of my mountain of work. Tonight is work night, and tomorrow and the next are fun fun fun.

Lots to do for the special, for the band, for life. I am very happy to have some time here with my family. Hope eveyone else is having themselves a Merry Christmas.

December 14, 2003, The Rosebowl Lounge

It was yet another Santa's Anonymous Benefit and Painting Daisies were there to rock it out for the kids. I was craving the thick second hand smoke and the pizza so I went a little early to get my fill. There were the usual people whom I have grown to love so much. Johnny, the 70 something year old alcoholic, was in prime form and I was surprised to see him walk through the door with such finesse. Kenny Rotten took the stage first with his band "Uberhack" with talented Kim as drummer. He hasn't missed an open stage at the Rose Bowl for 4 years i think. "The Elevators" were really fun and catchy. Jen Kraatz played her
great, country tunes with Chris Smith playing back up guitar. The MMP Band was solid as usual. Wow, my descriptive English sucks. We had a great set and I think it had to do with the fact that we hadn't played together in so long. I
personally was really looking forward to rocking out all electric. I had to hop up on IB Profin because I pulled my groin while skiing. It is hard to do the moves if you can't move your leg. Thanks to everyone who gave for the kids. Until next year.

December 9, 2003 Edmonton, AB

Busy busy busy. It's all meetings and action in the world of PD. We're planning our media prescreening of our CBC special. Randy Bachman will be coming in for it. We're scheduling interviews, publicizing, and even catering the event. We're also busy working on our re-vamping website; recording, designing and distributing a "lately" single (so the radio has something to play after our special airs; incorporating (yes -- there's going to be a Painting Daisies Inc. now), and so much more...

December 8 , Edmonton, Alberta

Hi Everyone. Well I thought I should say something, because it's been a while. I am very happy to be working with Taye drums. For all you drummers out there, I would love to hear from you. I am preparing myself for our CBC show. The family will be watching it in Edmonton, as will all my relatives that are scattered throughout the world. Well, I am a woman of few words, so keep on movin', and don't bother losin'. Talk to you soon.

Dec. 4/03 -- London- South Bank - Royal Acadamy of Music

Daisy cannot escape famous people.

Jazz is taken very seriously in London, for all you 'bo's out there. Emily Watson (Punch-Drunk Love, Gosford Park, and Red Dragon) likes it a lot as I ran into her a few days back while catching live jazz. Today on the ride home I ran into Margot Kidder in Dorval, Montreal. She's quite tall. This is curious how this happens. Brian Dennehy was eating a sandwich in Minneapolis and the only thing I could think of was the poor lines they gave him in Presumed Innocent and the fact that 1) he used to trade stocks with Martha Stewart on Wall St. 2) When on her show he couldn't mince garlic to save his life. These little gems shoot thru my brain when I'm engaging with these people and it's hard to keep it together and not laugh my ass off.

Travel tip: Do not wear anything studded in the airport, this gives you the air of "bad-ass". Do not swagger, do not wear a toque that says "lost" on it (with a skull substituting the "O"). This excites customs and immigration.

Apparently to functioni internationally I need a long skirt, long jacket, a broach, my hair pinned back, a scarf, and sharp-toed boots. OH MY GOD, I'M ITALIAN! Good on me. Or a stewardess. Good again.

Margot liked my hat, so all is not lost. I'm home again jiggedy-jig. Thank you to my family for picking me up in Calgary as who knows who I would have met on the Greyhound back to Ed.

December 3, 2003 London, England

Just some little notes here: Daisy in London- Pt. 2

The Victory Club- Posh meeting place for former War Veterans. Daisy in her Nashville Pussy shirt (that's a band), Jeans, Studded Belt, Leather Jacket. Sitting amongst the octogenerians. Totally wild. I won't even tell you what happened during tea at "the English Speaking Union". I need to buy a skirt or something.

Daisy's Guide to London- I got it all sussed basically. The highlight (one of many) was The Bok Bar - South African decor. GREAT STAFF. Live music, animal prints, tikis, TV's with soccer, great vino. S

New Fave Band: Gomez.

Cool Venue: 12 Bar. - built in 1635. Ah, history.

December 3, 2003 Edmonton, AB

I have just been inspired to become a rock star. I ate my supper in front of the television this evening (a rare occurence), and caught some of Wayne's World and Jessica Simpson's show. The portrayal of women on television is insane. Beautiful toys... I hope that with this band of ours we can give young girls something more to look up to than sexy, skinny women... not that there's anything wrong with being sexy or thin, but seeing these near unobtainable standards for the female body, and seeing women judged on their body shape does a number on a girl's self esteem. I even found it affecting my own self esteem, and I consider myself to be a confident person.

I guess I am, in my own way, a feminist. That's something I never thought I'd say (let alone broadcast over the internet). I have argued long and hard with feminists over the validity of the feminist cause -- over the necessity of drawing attention to the plight of women in what I view as an essentially equal society. I am a strong person, and perhaps that is why I feel that I have never felt discrimination for being a woman (I would never give them reason to discriminate, as I could do everything the boys do).... Oh... this is such a huge subject. I don't know if I can really broach it in the confines of this blog. Hmmm...

I guess what it comes down to is respect. I hope that I can help people learn to respect one another and themselves as different and equally valid individuals. A huge undertaking, perhaps, but the ball is rolling. I know that positive change is happening because I see it in myself. If I can be free of hatred and bigotry, I'm sure that other humans are capable of the same feat. If I get a bit of the popular media on my side, so much more is possible. I hope that I will be a good role model... I hope that I never find myself caught up in the nets of the American media's beauty myth; that I'll be able to portray true beauty, and give people (especially young people) a positive model to consider. Some rather unlikely aspirations coming from a post-punk cynic like me.

December 2, 2003 Edmonton, AB

I think I may have finally met my match. I had my first lesson on a stand-up bass today. I started working on my bowing when I got home this evening, and wow, I'm going to have to start pumping iron if I want to really get into this instrument. I'm in love...

Today was great. It started with an Alexander Technique class that really helped me get back to myself (I don't know how else to explain it -- it's an Alexander Technique thing), and progressed with a doctor's appointment (I seem healthy -yay!), a nice cappuccino and some time to read Romeo & Juliet and write in my journal, a meeting about the press screening of our upcoming special, a bass lesson, a trip to a friend's house to drop off some Christmas presents (I did my shopping early this year), and a band meeting over dinner. I didn't cry once, therefore this day was a smashing success.

I think I love Mondays.

December 1, 2003 London, England

Daisy sees the Queen Mum blow by and Other Stories

Hello from Covenent Gardens. Yes, yes "Ms. Last Minute" has done it again and hopped a 330 AirBus to London. I've been here 3 days and already it's competing for my love of New York. Both are quite similar except I dig the NY accent better. I saw the Queen this morning as they're opening parlaiment. I stood in the rain for half an hour to see the whole kit-and-kibootle -- the best part was the torrential downpour just as she drove by. I haven't tried the fish n' chips yet but the Indian Food's great as well and the - you guessed it - red wine. I've "minded the gap" on the tube and made my way thru Heathrow quite successfully. Design and fashion are the name of the game here and shoppping is king. Also, DIDO is the queen -- today I will be attending a musical called "anything goes". I've seen the Globe Theatre, the Tate Modern, London Bridge, many pubs, Big Ben, Buckingham Palace and lord knows what else. I expect to make it to at least one show but Blondie and Fleetwood Mac are sold out. I'll settle for Eryka Badu. Simple Minds, Fun Lovin' Criminals, Duran Duran are all here. Level 42 still gig here as well for all you serious 80's types. And all the lights are up on Oxford St. for Xmas. There is nothing like corking a bottle of TVINI on top of the double decker and tooling around town.

December 1 (1:11 am), 2003 Edmonton, AB

Just came back from an event at Convocation Hall. The Berlioz was nice... as nice as Berlioz gets (to my meager experience)... Smetana, Paganini and a debut piece by local prof Guillaume Tardif were also performed.

Bedtime again.

November 30, 2003 Edmonton, AB

By all accounts my first solo appearance was a great success. I did mess up a bit, but apparently did a good job at weaving my mistakes into the fabric of the songs.

After the show, I was physically and emotionally exhausted (even though I only did four songs), and missed the opera and my friend's party in favor of sleeping. I feel much better now.

November 29, 2003 Edmonton, AB

So... after Rapunzel leaves her tower, she lives happily ever after? Wouldn't she sometimes miss hanging out all day, staring out the window dreamily? Perhaps that's not the real ending to the tale:"Happily Ever After."

I saw a copy of the Grimm Brother's Fairy Tales in the window of Wee Book Inn yesterday. Maybe I'll stop in after my show and check it out.

November 26th, 2003 Edmonton, AB

Well Carolyn, I happened to dip into the sauce myself tonight. I let it breath
for about five seconds and then downed it within a half hour. "It is better to
be a whino than a whiner (?)"
Yes, I love wine. Thank you Wanda for the inspirational photo session and the
bottle of Okanagan red.
Painting Daisies are trying to rehearse but their ever faithful tour van, Muffy
the Highway Slayer, has died yet again. We don't know the diagnoses but she is
currently acting as storage space for all of Rachelle's scheize. I am Rachelle
by the way and i have a lot of scheize. Our new rehearsal space is out on the
Yellowhead Highway and I have found that carrying a 200 pound keyboard on a bike
in -28 degree weather for 20 km doesn't work so well. May Muffy's god have
mercy on us, PLEASE! I just want to play rock n' roll. You can quote me on that.

November 25, 2003 Edmonton, AB

The sun is rising (again). Every morning, I wake up and watch it rise as I eat my oatmeal in the kitchen. I sit on the counter with my feet on the window sill, and if I find my thoughts wandering, I remind myself to look up and out and enjoy what nature is giving me. Beauty.

Beautiful sunrises make it worthwhile to wake up in the morning.

November 24, 2003 Edmonton, AB

The Fabiano Amarone Della Valpolicella got a little too much of my love last night.... a really nice wine; she was definitely worth the attention. I was upset with my first glass, as after having decanted the bottle for nine hours, it still gave me an alcohol burn on my upper palate. I put the bottle remorsefully aside. The next evening, with the wine having sat in the decanter for 29 hours, I gave it another go. The ladies at venomania were right... this bottle really did get better when it opened up. Wow.

David is doing better. He is slowly recovering from the attack. I had opened the Fabiano with the intention of sharing with him... sorry! My wine collection is now completely kaput, and here I am, 11 months away from my next birthday. Darn. Maybe I'll score well at Christmas...

November 23, 2003 Edmonton, AB

My cappuccino was worth the 27 block walk. I don't normally drink coffee... just when I'm at Tra Amici. I enjoy their espresso. I'll sometimes drink it in my cafe as well, just because it is good and I hate to see it go to waste (we always brew double shots and often the customers only want a single).

The coffee is enjoyable at Tra Amici, and I find that I can get a bit of work done because most of the conversations are in Italian. I'm not really distracted by background noise in languages foreign to my ears. There is, however, some English too. That can sometimes be a tad distracting. I have to be very cautious not to use my finely tuned musician ears for the purpose of eavesdropping. Today, to avoid such a possibility, I put my headphones on and blasted the Mozart as I worked on a band agenda.

Even the English conversations are not as distracting as I imagine they will be in the future -- when many of the conversations will be about me. Not to sound egotistical, but I know that the reality of having a job in the public eye (i.e. rock musician) has that kind of effect. People are attracted to celebrity, even minor celebrity (remember Joe Millionaire's tour of Edmonton's bar scene? I rest my case). It's already happening to a minor degree. Oh well. I'm a people person (most of the time)... it should be fun.

Oh, the staff at Tra Amici is also very nice. Prompt service and always some odd remark that causes me to smile. I imagine I'll be going there for a while yet to come.

November 21, 2003 Edmonton, AB

Our soundman and good friend David was jumped outside a club last night. A mild concussion, broken wrist, and some injury to his back. I am very upset that someone would do such a thing to him.

If Karma exists, David is proof that it flows from one life to the next. I don't know what he was in his past life, but it must have been something pretty horrible because he's sure paying for it in this one. David is the sweetest, most honorable man I know, and yet he never seems to get a positive break... Crazy stuff happens to him all the time; weird stuff -- like when the lady sitting next to him on the bus died a few years ago (on Christmas, no less!) -- like when he buys a new ladder and it breaks the first time he uses it (another broken wrist incident)... I don't know what else... so many things.... bad karma?

My life is the opposite of David's. Good Karma. I'm lucky. Very few accidents despite the high risk situations I've often placed myself in in the past (i.e. my driving as a teenager. I was very stupid... exciting, but stupid). Somehow, though, it seems as though we struggle the same amount with living, David and I. How does that work?

Maybe there's a certain amount of adventure that everyone needs to fulfill in their lives, and those of us who don't fulfill our allotment via stealing cars and living with street kids must make up for it in other ways-- having crazy accidents and stuff. Yet there are people for whom the most mundane of activities can seem adventurous... Ahhhh... perhaps it is because of our world view. David is the only person I know who has as few inhibitions and (generally self-imposed) psychological restrictions as I perceive in myself. Due to this condition (or rather, lack of condition), he needs more sensory activity to achieve a sense of "adventure". As he does not (at least not to the extent of myself) achieve this activity via conscious action, it is dealt to him via a subconscious predisposition to crazy situations. Perhaps this steaks me as a fatalist.... don't label me too quickly, however. I do believe in causality (ex-physics student, how could I not (ha ha )), but not an inflexible fate... but I am wandering off my subject now...

David was jumped outside a club last night. He'll be returning home soon to start healing again.

November 20th, 2003

Muffy is dead again. She died on the way home and took her last breath as I drifted up to my house. I think it is the alternator again. "Set fire to her", as Harald, tour manager Nazi would say.
It was a full day of scheize. Lots and lots of snow which makes me very happy despite the fact that it makes riding bikes very dangerous. Cars don't stop as fast and neither do bikes. I really want to go out into the backcountry this weekend but now we must focus on the tv special. I wonder if this tv show validates my career? Dad, is this considered a real job now? We had a band meeting today with Steve Glassman of CBC. We watched the CBC special on Kim's wall. Yikes! It looks really good. I am so stoked for you guys
to see it. We all have cleavage! And, more importantly, we play really well and the songs sound killer. Good work CBC crew. I am super tired so I must stop rambling. I need a thorough floss and that means must go now and NO SOLITAIRE.

November 19, 2003 Edmonton, AB

The moon is a bright white sickle, high up in the deep blues of early dawn.

We moved into a new practice space yesterday. It's in a rock warehouse. My sister would be trapped there for hours looking at all the magnificent samples. I was there by my own free will for hours contemplating another type of rock.

And you all -- how are you doing? My urge to hibernate is draining some of my energy... I imagine I'm not alone in that.

No rest for now... we've found out that our CBC special will be aired on December 30th (7pm) -- a full two months earlier than we were expecting. That means that all the things we were planning on doing for the next four months have to be done NOW. Lucky we excel under pressure. Excel or hibernate...

November 16, 2003 Edmonton, AB

p.s. Buy Isabel Bayrakdarian's "Joyous Light, Raffi Armenian" rather than "Azulao". Maybe buy two copies of Joyous Light to make up for not supporting her new effort... I hope that Hatzel's "Light From the Cross" is captured with grand passion whenever she's recording that one. With a voice like hers, the absence of grand passion in an overall recording is a horrible shame.

November 16, 2003 Edmonton, AB

Well, here I am again. Four in the morning, at my computer because I am very awake... maybe I'm caught in some sort of recurring dream/reality thing. I think it would be called a cycle. Interesting.

What better to do at a quarter to five than write in your blog? I'm sure that there must be at least a half million other insomniacs in my time zone alone, perhaps some of them will become appreciative of my way-too-early-in-the-morning ramblings. Maybe I'll start a quarter-to-five internet chat room so we can non-sensically communicate in lines of typed grunts and howls... sort of a primal cave-woman with computer thing. I would definitely appreciate some primal communication right now.

Rachelle and I had a great gig on Saturday. The only thing really missing from the evening was the presence of a couple of my friends... I was sad for a while at their ditching, but pulled out of my funk well enough vis-à-vis talking with another friend about a camping trip to some hidden hot springs.

I had the pleasure of viewing a cinematic masterpiece yesterday: Akira Kurosawa's "Ikiru". Anyone interested in waxing philosophical or verbally vomiting intellectual on the subject of this great film can email me. We'll go have some coffee and let words fly. Worlds collide. You and I.... and then, goodbye.

November 15, 2003 Edmonton, AB

Well, here I am again. Four in the morning, at my computer because I am very awake. What's on my whirring mind? The right things -- Rachelle and I playing together at the Sidetrack tonight (only twelve hours to sound check); my cafe (I'll be running it on my own for the first time ever next week); my homework (I'm going to have to shell out another $500 for extensions ---- aaahhhhh!!! I've got to finish my courses, this is crazy!); and just a dash of other lovely things such as drinking espresso and dancing. Good.

A perfect juxtaposition to my evening state of mind of last week.

Saltspring Island was so quiet and so dark at night that I slept continuously for three nights in a row. Of course we had killed ourselves the previously two days with nine hour drives and playing shows and loading gear (the usual touring musician 18 hr a day grind)... it's hard to imagine that we used to do that for months at a time. Crazy. I have a bad hip now from five years of loading gear that weighs more than I do. A bad hip and a stubborn mind... no, my stubborn streak has been around a lot longer than five years...

I would tell you about the shows and more about how wonderful Randy and his wife are... I may yet tell you more about that... but it's four in the morning and my thoughts really aren't focusing themselves right now.

I'm going to go play my bass for a while. Bye.

November 14, 2003 Edmonton, AB

A great experience... thank you Randy, Denise, Paul, Kasia (hope I spelled that right!) and Susanne. No time to write now... soon...

November 7, 2003 Edmonton, AB

Today we head out on the highway
To take care of business
In Nelson, Vancouver and on Salt Spring Island.

Randy Bachman has invited us to Salt Spring. He has generously offered to open both his guest house and and his recording studio so that we may work together and see if we can get some audio magic brewing. We're not sure what will be recorded... Perhaps some people would be going crazy at this point, but lack of organization and pre-planning seems to be the price we all must pay for living in the moment. I guess that's why bands have managers -- so that they can be where they are and not end up suddenly finding themselves old, poor, and listening to the hit songs they never saw any royalities for playing daily on "Golden Oldies -- hits from the sixties, seventies and eighties"...

If I ever hear my songs in that context, I imagine they'll seem to be more brass oldies than golden.

I hope this wasn't supposed to be a secret (I usually don't do secrets because I speak my mind quite redily and forget what's meant for sharing and what's not) -- yea, I hope I'm not spilling the beans... ah.... I wish it was later in the day so I could call Rachelle or Daisy and find out if it was a secret....

I don't know. Anyhow, Randy will be coming to our Railway Club show, and we might do something together. I'm going to have to get my Guess Who cd back from Kim so I can get a better feel for Randy's tunes. Who knew that a walkman could be so handy? I bought mine (and my cost-more-than-a-month's-rent Grados) specifically to listen to Jeff Buckley's "Grace" after the cd was given to me as a gift... They've been serving me quite faithfully since then ... Chopin, mahuvishnu (spelt wrong), mingus, Miles, lady astride the tiger, a little Tom Waits... Sarah Vaughn (memories...). Oh, I bought the new Isabel Bayrachdarian, and it (predictably) kicks ass. The first few tunes are not really to my taste, but it does get awfully good later on. Buy it.

November 6 , 2003 Edmonton, AB

p.s. Rachelle, I love skiing -- especially skating -- it can give such a sense of freedom!

November 6 , 2003 Edmonton, AB

For all my pride and perceived independence, sometimes I'm such a silly little girl. I have a grade seven style crush on a boy and it is frustrating. All I ask is that the thoughts in my head are about things important to me: my musical career, my poetry and songs, my restaurant, my friends and family, my future artworks. No luck. I am up at night with thoughts of infatuation running through my mind.

It's been difficult to sleep. I don't want to have to drink three glasses of wine to get to sleep. I've tried praying, meditating, reading the most boring, convoluted book I can get my hands on... If it gets any worse I may have to try pre-meditated exercise (no!!!!!).

I don't want this kind of distraction. I want patience - the ability to let my life unfold without forcing events. I am not into such manipulation -- if I were, I would have jumped on board with all the witches that came out to our Helena show. Not interested. Reality, even my own reality, is not mine to manipulate.

It's time to dig up my paints, or buy some new ones.

Oh, one more thing. My song is track six on the demo, not track seven.

October 28, 2003 Edmonton, AB

It's snowing, it's snowing. I am so excited because soon I will be backcountry touring with the new K2 Phat Luvs. Those are big powder skis that rock for back country. Yes Carolyn, I know, skiing is for wankers. But....you have to check out these boards. Super sexy. I am strung out on coffee even thought I promised myself to stop drinking it because you develop a chronic bad breath problem once you hit your late thirties. However, I have the day off so i wanted to do a yuppy latte while reading up on bike wheel repair. I am trying to become an efficient bike mechanic so that I can ride all year long and take care of my baby by myself. I also want to overhaul Miss Carolyn's bike because she hasn't been giving it too much love over the last couple of years. C, you must wash your bike at least once a year! Dirt and small parts don't like each other very much.
So, we have been practicing up in this old studio on Jasper Ave. that totally makes me want to become a heroin addict and live in the top loft with my one mattress and collection of Vladimir Nabokov novels. It has good juju. However, I
end up going home every night to do Yoga and drink a green powershake instead.
To thine own self be true. We are rehearsing tonight and then it is off to Calgary for a show at The Ironwood. I am excited to play live. It is one of my most favorite things to do. When we are on, the dopamine seratonin rush is wild. Oh, and Nashville Pussy is coming to town in 2 weeks!!!! I am so pumped to see Riter (sp?) play some mean Anges Young style git. Bye

October 28, 2003 Edmonton, AB

Right.

The frusteration level is down quite substantially. We've had a couple of great practices in a funky new space, and as every musician knows, nothing helps get a head straight like letting out some musical yayas.

So much has happened since my last entry (not counting the Oct. 26 entry).The Martin Tielli concert was wonderful. I dragged Kim onto the dance floor, and had a willing accomplice in Kelly. The nature of Martin's music had everyone but the three of us sitting entranced in their seats, giving me plenty of room to express. Wheeee! Viva la danse! Vive le Ford Pier! Viva le vin!

My bass lesson yesterday turned into a social event... The Bogle petit syrah has my love.... even if it's not Italian (I've latetly been obsessed with Zento's Ripassa valipolicella -- especially since I bought myself a birthday decanter and no longer have to be patient while it breathes for an hour).

Ok, what other quasi-interesting things can I write about? Isabel Bayrakdarian has a new album out -- I'm excited. Unfortunately not the Hatzel piece I saw her perform...

blah blah blah...

Oh -- I'm happy now. More on that later.

October 26, 2003 Edmonton, AB

AAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

October 16, 2003 Edmonton, AB

What's going on, what's going on...Well...We had a great band meeting last night -- three hours of business and then we pulled out a bottle of wine, took our shirts off (why does that happen? And why is it always so much fun?) and laughed, laughed, laughed. What were we laughing at? I don't know. We laughed about everything. I'm very grateful that we laugh at everything rather than scream about everything. What an amazing band I have.

Thank you for the birthday present, Igor.

Two sleeps until the big day... I'm going to celebrate at the Sidetrack 'cause Ford Pier is going to be there playing with Martin Tielli. I love Ford. Perhaps I should qualify that phrase by stating that I love Ford's guitar playing. Naw. I love Ford. Guess I'll have to be careful not to drink too much Masi on Saturday... then again, it is my birthday.

October 12, 2003 Edmonton, AB

Happy Thanksgiving all.

I was very thankful yesterday for the beautiful fish that Rachelle gave me as an early birthday present. Yummy.

Now it's off to the kitchen for me to make a salad to bring to my next feast. Bye!

October 7, 2003 Francois Lake, B.C.

I FINALLY DID IT! I caught a fish while paddling my canoe and dragging a line out the back! I was so happy that the whole country heard me screaming. Then once it was in the boat I couldn't kill it. It was looking me right in the eye and begging for mercy. Then I remembered that I needed a birthday present for Carolyn. So I found my stick and with a tear in my eye, i cracked it over the head. I then began to panick as it slipped form my hands and into the boat flipping in small convulsions. My little nine year old niece yelled at me, "JUST KILL IT ALREADY!" So I did.
The leaves are red, orange and yellow and i am in complete bliss. I wish Daisy, Carolyn, and Kim could see it. The lake is like glass and the trails are like a painting. I guess next time. We are in the studio soon. That is my second most favorite place to be. Bye.

October 6, 2003 Edmonton, AB

So this is what happens when you keep a touring musician off the road. Insanity.

I don't want to deal with everything that's involved in not being on the road: the confusion of relationships, taking on normal responsibilities, et al.

Remember those days when all one had to worry about was Muffy breaking down and not being able to afford a latte? Remember how easy it was to buy a can of sardines and a green pepper for supper? We didn't have to worry about dishes... all I had to keep clean was a little van. Now I'm in my beautiful apartment, meeting often with my wonderful friends, and not having any idea where I'm going and what I want.

It doesn't matter if you don't know what you want when you're on the road. Wants are simple on the road: I want to eat; I want to take a bathroom break. At home, people want friendships and marriages and if you let them put their wants above your own (easy to do when you're not even sure what your wants are), soon you feel like they are taking from you. Taking your time, your love, and in return assuring you that you are getting what you want.

What about if I have no wants? Is that possible? There are things in life that I know I don't want: negativity -- or more so apathy/mediocrity, the cudgel of passion.

I thought that I wanted to dispel passion from my life. Now it seems that without passion there is no life. Yet without restraining passion, there is no living with somebody else.

What a crazy world, yet unfortunately not always crazy enough.

October 4, 2003 Edmonton, AB

Well, I've at last allowed myself the opportunity to slow down. Having achieved a 14 hour mini-coma, I have risen to find myself surrounded by a perfect fall day... I'd like to dedicate the beauty of this day to my sister Angela. Happy Birthday.

Rachelle has taken a temporary leave of absence from the band to visit her family in Northern British Columbia. It is surly one of the most beautiful times of the year up there, and I hope that the people she is with will take a cue from nature and treat her beautifully -- as she deserves to be treated.

Daisy is Happy. I love seeing her happy. She has such a strong energy about her that I can't help but smile when I see her now.

Kim is still working at her day job (as are Daisy and myself), gaming in the evenings, and working on "Kimizing" her new apartment. I am ready for the housewarming party. So ready. I started my wine collection yesterday by investing in two bottles of a nice Italian valipolicella, "Ripassa". One of them is earmarked for the party... the other I will enjoy when the time comes.

October 2 , 2003 Edmonton, AB

Happy Birthday to our lovely and talented sound wizard, David Banks.

I'm celebrating by drinking wine. Drinking some wine with El Davido later at Four Rooms (free jazz, can't go wrong), drinking some previously with my friend Shannon. I... am off now to .. prepare... for some more good wine. I love birthdays.

October 1 , 2003 Edmonton, AB

Life has been so wonderfully hectic. I think I'm keeping up with it alright, but sometimes I think I'm letting it rush past me as if I were a stone in the bottom of a fast flowing stream. A pebble more than a stone, really. Light enough to be occasionally tossed about in the current, but solid enough to take the knocks upon the stream bed... Remembering that each blow helps smooth my form into something more aerodynamic (aquadynamic?)... Knowing that there will soon enough come another time for me to lie and rest upon the perfectly chaotic bed, eventually becoming engulfed by earth and joining the pure elements on their level.

September 29, 2003

The show at RED's was a rush! 1500 people crammed underneath a giant moosehead.
It was fun but VERY stressful. I was actually sewn into my clothes at one point
so that I wouldn't have butt crack while seated at the piano. Thanks so much to
Jill, the stylist, for sewing me in and getting to know me a little better.
Also, thanks to Heather at The Hair Garage for making our hair look very sexy
and rock.

September 19 , 2003 Edmonton, AB

Takin' Care of Business. Everyday...
So tomorrow we get to jam with Randy Bachman on "Takin' Care of Business". I've been too involved in taking care of my life to learn the tune yet, but I still have half an hour before we go to the CBC studios to sound check. I imagine we'll be running the song (I hope we'll be running the song!)... It's pretty much 5,4,1,5 so I think I'll do okay.

Unfortunately one part of my "business" that I haven't been paying enough attention to is this, our lovely website diary. It has been sadly neglected over the past few weeks.

I've been mourning the loss of all the information that CompuSmart cleared off my hard drive (OOPS!! -- oh, I might mention that they charged me 160 bucks to thoroughly screw up my computer -- not that I'm bitter...). Maybe I'll send CompuSmart the $400 bill for the extensions on my correspondence courses that I'll be buying now that all my course work has been destroyed... Or maybe I'll suck it up and finally learn to back up my data. You think I would have learned that lesson after my computer was stolen two years ago... Sometimes repetition is necessary to drive a point home. Sometimes repetition is necessary to... what's my point again?

Sept. 17th 2003

THIS IS INSANITY. I love it. This is my day: I'm up at 7am, I eat a salad. Drink a coffee. Write a song, read a bit of Pat Riley. Check messages. Do an interview while shopping for a new sport bra - focus wanes a bit while checkin' my orbs out in the mirror - "bust" to a school read for a Grade 3 student. Work out - 3 hours - distribute tickets on Whyte Avenue for our TV special - order trucker hats from merch dude - eat some ROLLMOPS from Save-On Foods. Practice guitar and vocal chops. Realize I haven't cleaned by bathroom in weeks but it makes a great studio. Bust over to do some photos for a collaboration piece/installation that will be shown at the ORTONA in the SPRING. Stop, breathe, put hands in the pocket of my newly aquired BLACK DOG FREEHOUSE hoodie and think of the night I spent on the roof of the Princess Theatre watching the clouds cover the moon. Wake up - shake head - the light is green - drive to mechanic's to get Alignment fixed on my truck. Go home. Collapse. Then I do it again the next day. I love the process, I love the experience of being a part of something big. Light's green. See you on Friday, dear fans, family, readers, it's gonna be wild.

September 8, 2003 Dinxperlo, Holland

Well, I have almost embraced the European culture. I have been here for three weeks and can now drink four beer without feeling tipsy, eat blood sausage without upchucking, go for days without water, ride bikes that don’t switch gears in crowded city centres while talking on a cell phone, and ask where the bathroom is in four different languages. I am currently in a small village on the German border, and tomorrow I leave for Amsterdam for a visit to the Marshall factory and another to the botanical gardens. This last weekend was spent in Den Bosch which is in the south of Holland. I hung out with Ton and Leslie, two amazing compadres who know how to live it up. They saw us play in Den Bosch and in Canada by very weird coincidences. Leslie took me out on her little boat and we sailed to the Maas River where we then celebrated with Hoegaarden (Belgian beer) and french cheese with bread. Smaakt Lekker! We were having so much fun that we didn’t even notice our boat start to drift from the beach. Luckily we caught it before it got too far or we would have had to hitch hike with a freightliner back to Den Bosch. We visited Till, who lives in a boat on the lake. Very hippish people live in boats along this lake, most of them artisans. They are quite self sufficient and are proud to call the area the last jungle of Den Bosch. I want to move there. Now I am eating Knack Knacks which are basically weiners. Yummy. I have to go and find my friends now. Tschuss.